Woody's vision

On Saturday, we took Woody to the vet for his semi-annual check up.

All was well with him, except for one thing. The vet showed us that he has developed some opacity directly over his pupil in his left eye, and a bit of opacity in the right eye.
Because pugs have a tendency to sleep with their eyes open, this sometimes happens. The surface of the eye hardens, like a callous, due to exposure to the air. The prognosis we were given was that this condition would worsen over time until he lost his vision. We were given a lubricating gel to put on his eyes throughout the day and at bedtime, but not a lot of hope that anything could be done about this, ultimately.
I didn’t talk about it on his video. I didn’t post about it here. I waited a little while before I told anyone at all about it.
I allowed myself an afternoon of wallowing in pity.
When I am worried about Woody and he sees me become upset, he gets upset, so I didn’t want to cry in front of him. That afternoon, while he was at home and Tracy and I were out shopping, I let myself cry in the car. I let myself feel everything that I needed to feel about it. I let myself feel scared and deeply sad at the idea of a blind Woody. I let myself acknowledge how much he enjoys seeing the world, watching tv, picking out his toys, keeping watch at the front door-and I grieved that he might one day lose those things. I let myself feel deeply sad that he might be already uncomfortable. I let myself feel angry that he’s only two and a half – that even though pug people know in our hearts that our guys might have these problems – it seems so early for this.
And when I felt that I’d expressed what I needed to express about that, I breathed it all out and realigned my attention. I decided to think of Woody as he is – a healthy, happy, sighted dog.
The amount of good that can come from me imagining worse-case future scenarios is zero.
I comforted myself with the notion that dogs are not like people. They are purer, not bogged down with ego, closer to source energy. Their senses are heightened - particularly their sixth sense.
Dogs are the very embodiment of “being here now.”
I realized that Woody is a joy-filled being and nothing is going to change that. Nothing is going to chip away at his spirit.
At the vet’s office, I worried that we wouldn’t be able to apply a gel directly to his eyeball. We have trouble getting the ear cleaner into his ears and putting something on his eye sounded impossible to me. So far, though, he’s let us do it without much of a struggle.
We, of course, began doing research on our own and learned that this situation is not as hopeless as we feared. It is entirely possible to undo the damage with diligence in applying the gel and use of a humidifier at night. That’s what we intend to do. We’re not just going to slow this thing down, we’re going to reverse it. Already, we can tell a difference in the way Woody’s eyes look.
No matter what happens, he is the same bright shining light that he was before we went to the vet on Saturday.
And all of this has made me think about how much more we suffer when we are unwilling to accept the suffering. Life is fluid and the circumstances are always changing. Some days we get news that we don’t want, but we can’t allow ourselves to be defined by that news. The bad news doesn’t have to control us and happiness is not contingent on always hearing good news.
Woody won’t be the same dog a year from now that he is today and we won’t be the same people. Life moves and our job is to flow with it. Our job is to love, love, love and flow.

Comments

[Amanda]

Oh Woody - what a sweetie. It's always heartbreaking to think that they are suffering, but you are right - they live in the now.

Even if, down the road Woody does lose his sight, they are so resilent that he will probably be just as happy and loving as he is today. We have so much to learn from these beautiful creatures.

Big kisses from Meimei and Miko

[Tami]

I am glad you found out that this condition can be helped. I think you will feel better when you are applying the gel because you will know that you are doing something to help Woody; even if he fights it!

It's good that you got your feelings out and didn't hold it all in :)

[Olivia]

I love this adorable video, Lori-Lyn. I am so sorry about Woody's vision, but happy that you have found a way to treat him and hopefully reverse his condition. He is a little bundle of joy and love. I will pray that he is seeing well soon. Love, O

[Marilyn]

I didn't know this about Pugs. (I've never noticed Jasmine sleeping with her eyes open. Whenever I see her sleeping--including in my lap--they're closed.) You are a brave, brave woman...I can't even touch my OWN eyeball. Yet I know if I *had* to do something like that for the reasons you're doing it, I'd probably find a way. Here's to good vision, Woody!

[Jill]

I love those last two sentences. And I'm glad there are things you can do to help Woody's eyes.

[Christine]

What a great video! I love Woody's expressions, he's such a sweet boy :)

I wish you all the best in reversing his eye problems, he has such beautiful eyes, they're worth every second it takes to make them better.

[Peasy's mom]

Just wanted to let you know that though Spike has only about 20% vision in one eye, he's doing quite well. Also, the degeneration is pretty slow, even though we (terrible pug parents) haven't managed to do the medication. One other thing, if it ever does get really bad (in 7 or 8 years, maybe) there's a surgery called pigmentary keratotomy (or something like that) that basically scrapes off those accumulated layers. I know how scary it is to hear such news, but I'm optimistic that Woody will continue to be happy and pretty healthy for a long time to come.