We don't get it

Warning: This post is going to make me sound cranky and out of touch. Maybe I can offset that a bit by telling you that I don’t like censorship. If you ask me, TV after 8 p.m. is fair game. If I’m downloading a song and there’s a clean and explicit version, I download the explicit version just on principle.
Personally, I’m hyper sensitive to violence and anguish so I don’t watch tv shows or movies that are excessively violent or pessimistic, that include scenes of torture or rape, or anything where something bad is going to happen to a child or an animal, but I feel it’s my responsibility as a viewer to turn off the things I don’t want to see. I don’t think it’s anyone else’s responsibility to make television, or the movie screen, a happy place for me.
I think movie ratings can be a huge detriment to film makers and I’d like to see a move toward a less restrictive more informative system. I can pretty much tell from previews and marketing whether or not a movie has too much of what I don’t want to be exposed to and I sort of resent the idea that some governing body somewhere is deciding what’s appropriate for a 13 year old and what isn’t. If I had children, for instance, I’d be way more concerned about their exposure to the many varieties of cloaked and overt sexism and racism that run rampant through the media than I would be nudity or language.
So now that you know where I stand on things, here comes the cranky part.
My eldest niece, who is four, is familiar with the book Horton Hears a Who! and likes it. My grandmother, who discovered Dr. Seuss through the nieces, is familiar with the book and loves it. A couple of weekends ago, we decided a family outing to the movie theater to see the Horton movie would be big fun. Ava was excited to go with us and we were excited to take her and we had the nicest time in the car just chatting and being together and basking in the sweet wonderfulness that is “four.” Four is a beautiful age, and Ava is a fantastic one. Her wisdom and compassion never fail to astonish me. She’s always ready with a compliment. (If you’ve never sat down next to your four year old niece and had her say, “Wow, you smell nice,” then you really haven’t lived.)
So, we planned our food purchases (popcorn, Twizzlers, gummi bears) and bought our tickets. Ava asked if she could sit in my lap, and I gladly obliged. The previews had already started by the time we sat down and the first one was for the new Pixar movie. It included one rather major gun blast and a lot of what I think of as generalized fear. I felt uncomfortable knowing that Ava was seeing it because I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable, the way it was making me feel uncomfortable. The next was for Speed Racer. It was loud and sort of aggressive and there was some sexual innuendo, but nothing too offensive. The next one was for an animated movie, Kung Fu Panda. The entire trailer involved kicking and punching, and not just in a martial arts context, but worse than that, the characters were really awful to each other. They were just mean and the jokes all seemed to be centered around the main character getting hurt. The next preview, for Ice Age 3, was more of the same and ended with a frightening, roaring dinosaur.
Finally, the movie started and I was relieved that the previews were over. I know the story of Horton, but I also know the tone of Seuss. Surely, I thought, the movie would be appropriate for a four year old.
But I was soon disappointed.
Los Angeles Times Staff Writer Carina Chocano said it very well:

...it tries too hard to act cool around the other animated movies, which, for some reason, still swear by the sardonic, pop culture-laden, celebrity-voiced, sitcom-cadenced corporate-speak that keeps trying to pass as humor. When in this mode, "Horton Hears a Who!" compulsively undermines its own message of dedication, respect and perseverance. "An elephant's faithful one-hundred percent," Horton says at one point. Then he lowers his eyelids wearily, puts on a funny voice and drawls, "That's my co-o-de. My mot-to. . . . " So much for sincerity.

There were moments of Horton that were funny and moments that were magical-looking, but overall the tone was harsh and sort of mean. I would have noticed it, but perhaps not cared as much if Ava had not been sitting on my lap, but since she was, each pointed jab, each slap of pain, each episode of nasty name calling stuck my straight in the heart.

When the black-bottomed eagle Vlad entered the picture, it was all too much for Ava. Too dark. Too angry. She suggested that we leave, so we did.
That input, seeing all of that content that's marketing for children, made me think.
The trailers we saw, you could certainly argue, are meant for older children, but Horton Hears a Who!, it seems to me, ought to be just right for a four year old. Maybe Ava and I are in a minority. In fact, I suspect that we are, but we don't think it’s funny to be cruel. We don't think it’s funny when sympathetic characters are mocked and harmed. We don't think that extreme peril is the only story there is, or that characters need to be either immensely “good” or immensely “bad.”
In the car, Ava said, “Maybe when I’m more growed up, I can see movies like that.”
It was exquisitely heartbreaking. I hope not, I thought. I hope you always have the sensibility that you have now. I hope your heart is always just as out of step with that sort of thing as it is in this moment.
“I’m as growed up as you can get,” my grandmother said, “and I didn’t like it either.” Then, she added, “You should always say what you think, Ava. You don’t have to like something just because other people like it.”
And that, really, is the truth about our day. It was a good outing even though we didn’t like the movie. We enjoyed being together and we went to Krispy Kreme and watched donuts being made

and ate donuts and everything was fine. So maybe you could say that Horton Hears a Who! just wasn’t the movie for us, but the experience made me think.
I've never been one to blame "the media" for things, but I had to wonder as I watched the animals in Kung Fu Panda casually punching one another in the stomach, tossing out phrases like, "you suck," how much all this mildly violent, sarcastic storytelling is sinking into young minds and bodies and relationships, informing those playground moments that seemingly come out of nowhere. Maybe we are, in subtle and not so subtle ways, guiding our children down a path of big-man-on-top, winner-takes-all, nastiness in the name of entertainment and that makes me sad.
Ava and I are waiting for a Charlie and Lola movie.

Comments

[Jill]

You're right. There is a harsh side to most kid movies in the last few years. The best I can tell you (and this probably won't work with Ava just yet, but in a year or two) is to use the media as a jumping-off point for talks about right and wrong, fairness, kindness, etc. Just like you all did.

It didn't do much for Lauren at four, but at seven - and a half! - it does. We have some of the best talks about things she sees on tv or in movies. Don't even get me started on the Miley Cyrus photo media extravaganza; what a manufactured mess that is. Anyway, at this age, she pays a lot more attention to me than she does to imaginary characters or even peers. I'm trying to get my views hard-coded in her brain now so they'll be there when she's a bit older and thinks I'm as dumb as a box of rocks.

;-)

[Emily]

I haven't commented here in a bazillion years but wanted to chime in on this one. It's amazing how grown up kids are now - even if they're not. I mean, I think kids are forced to age quicker and even if they don't, it's assumed that they have. Things aren't sacred

The idea of a cartoon used to mean that it was geared toward young children but that's just not the case anymore and that's sad. Although, I like cartoons so I like the idea of cartoons geared toward grown ups but they need to be geared toward grown ups...not Seuss books which are children's books (for the most part) made into adult cartoons. It's just really, really sad.

But your niece was awfully smart about it - and adorably cute!

[Peasy's mom]

I share your hope for Ava and for my own daughter. May they always find cruelty un-cool. You have a wonderful family.

[Stacey]

We haven't seen "Horton" yet, but I understand your point. I have four kids, and I'm forever on the lookout for movies and cartoons that may be inappropriate for them. I guess I kind of ride the fence on censorship. I'm against it on the one hand, but I absolutely cringe at television now, especially commercials. It amazes me that so many producers feel that they need to use sex to sell everything from deodorant to hamburgers. My children range in age from 10 years down to 3 years, and I find myself pondering how much of these sexual innuendos and violence in cartoons is being soaked up by their impressionable minds. I always talk to my kids about fairness, kindness, morals, etc. but I have to wonder how much they will be swayed by the media.
On another note, we love Charlie and Lola! It seems nowadays that the "safest" cartoons are the ones geared toward preschool age children.

[Carmen]

I strongly dislike cruel as a funny or as a "humor" thing.
I have lived this experience very close and personally and worse, my daughter was included on it....
Not funny, not good.
I have been daring to ask to other parents, did you check the ratings (when I noticed the kids are way to young) and they look at me like: so?
I can't believe they don't protect their kids from the media.
Thank you for this reflection.