the dream life

A gathering of dreams

We had planned on going out for New Year's Eve but when the time arrived, we found ourselves dressed for comfort and ready to sink into the couch with our boy and a couple of pizzas (one cheeseless, of course). We happened upon Revolutionary Road and sat pretty much riveted until it was over. Kate Winslet, my goodness. That woman knows what she's doing.

The movie ended just in time to switch over to the live from Times Square shows, which we did. I whipped up some chocolate fondue and we rang in the new year with sparkling water.

soft, softer

Holiday blues hit me a little early this year so I hung lights and strung some garland. I also bought this and I'm thinking about this. I'm watching Synecdoche, New York now and remembering how much I love the way Charlie Kaufman writes. Small, small and softly, I enter this season.

Night light

When it comes to sleeping, Tracy and I have different styles. When I'm ready to sleep, I like it pitch black--the kind of dark that makes you feel funny when you open your eyes because you can't see anything. Tracy likes a little light. I fall asleep within seconds of getting under the covers. Tracy needs some wind down time. We have come to an interesting compromise which is to put in a movie at bedtime. The light of television doesn't bother me as much as the light of...lights, and if the movie is chosen correctly and the volume set just right, it sort mumbles over there in the corner and doesn't interfere with me too much.

Not too long ago, I learned about the pleasure of dollar store DVDs. They're also sold at places like Big Lots and Carolina Pottery, usually up near the check out lane. Sometimes they're movies you've heard of but usually they're actors you've heard of starring in movies that you can't even find out about if you try to look them up on imdb. 

These gems, it turns out, are perfect bedtime movies. They tend to be freaky by nature, often plotless or seemingly filmed without a script. They are screw ball comedies one minute and tragedies the next. Often there is unexpected full frontal nudity or at least one or two the leads walking around in bras and slips with mussed up hair. 

Last night's dollar store movie was a Goldie Hawn flick called Lovers and Liars. If you see this at the Dollar Tree, put it in your basket. You won't be sorry (although you may, at times, feel your sanity slipping.) And beware of strange - not bad - but strange dreams.

This day

This day, this day just slipped away.

I went for a walk this morning.

I sat for a while on the front porch with Woody and Tracy while the wind blew dry leaves down the street.

We went to the Co-op for groceries.

I practiced hooping for a bit.

One million acts of kindness

Christine left a comment on my last post about Lars and the Real Girl that hits on exactly what it is that I love about this movie and why it is that after watching it once last week, it’s already made it to my list of all time favorite films.

It’s not just that the acting is great (which it is) or that the setting and wardrobe is so completely real-seeming (which it is). It’s because the story is about the power of compassion without coming across as heavy handed sentimentality. This is a film about love and hope and transformation and acceptance without ever becoming schmaltzy.

I found myself watching this story unfold and asking myself what would happen if each of us on this planet, in this world, extended to one another the sort of acceptance and compassion that Lars’ community extends to him when he shows up one day with his delusion.

What if we stopped holding on so tightly to what we think is “ours” and what we think is “sane” and what we think is “good”? What if we accepted that being human is a messy business? What if we decided to love one another, no exceptions? What if when we saw that another human being was suffering – even if we didn’t approve of their actions or choices, even if they had harmed us, even if they were mentally ill, physically ill, addicted, angry, confused, mean – we decided to extend mercy and compassion instead of judgment?

What would happen then?

How I spent my fall vacation: day nine

Lars and the Real Girl is a fantastic movie. (Although I'm not sure I would categorize it as comedy).

We also watched Outrage last night, which should be required viewing for everyone. It's difficult to watch and listen to hatred and hypocrisy of the anti-gay movement in this country. Terrifying, actually, but this film is so well-done and we do need to look and listen, because this is where we live. And love.

How I spent my fall vacation: day eight

Last night's marathon of sitting under a blanket eating popcorn and watching things continued with Smart People (liked it) and Wanda Sykes (love, love, love her). 

Today, we drove to Louisville for more vintage clothes shopping. It turned out to be a beautiful day, so beautiful that I danced in the leaves of someone's yard. 

We had lunch at Ramsi's,where I've never had a bad meal, and I wondered why it is that Lexington doesn't have a restaurant that caters to both vegans and omnivores the way Ramsi's does. I understand (maybe understand) why a completely vegan restaurant may not be viable here, but why not something like this? I have these thoughts a lot when I'm in Louisville (why don't we have this, why can't we have that? The answer, I suppose, is just to relax and enjoy the fact that Louisville has so many things I love, including a little house in the Highlands painted like a rainbow!)

How I spent my fall vacation: day seven

Today was the greyest rainiest day I've seen in a while. Perhaps it would have been best to spend it indoors, under blankets, but I had costuming needs and Tracy did his best to cheer me from my funk by taking me shopping. We dropped Woody off at daycare this morning and watched him play for a few minutes--something I've not been able to do before since I'm usually at work when he goes. His best friend there is a black pug named Lilly and I loved seeing her greet him and watching the two of them sit and run together, clearly communing.

Tracy and I had breakfast at the Co-op (I had the vegan chocolate chip banana muffin), had an interesting chat with one of our neighbors who happened to be there too,  then headed to Pop's where we made several fine discoveries. Sadly, the pink cowboy boots I loved were too big for me, but I was actually on the hunt for an ethereal zombie dress for the Thriller event, and I found one.

How I spent my fall vacation: day one

I am determined to get the house in some sort of shape at the beginning of my week so that I can enjoy it during the later part of the week and return to work with a better state of affairs around here. Last night I was all inspired to start working on the office. I succeeded in pulling piles of stuff out into the middle of the floor (and watching the movie Shrink, which I loved), but only one tiny area got organized.

This morning was not the time, however, to dive back in. This morning was the time to drink coffee and make a huge shopping list. Tracy and Woody were sleeping in the next room, so I couldn't very well go banging around in there. When finally they decided to brave this cold grey day and get out of bed, Tracy agreed to go with me for lunch and groceries and the co-op.

Johnny and Baby's last dance

Jennifer Grey remembers.

The last dance.

Hollis tells it like it is.

As we head into the weekend, a few things

First of all, on Thursday I had a life altering massage. have real, honest hope about my body now. Although last week’s back pain was acute, I’ve lived with chronic muscle issues for a long, long time. I’m ready to release tension and keep it gone, and I’m doing my homework (water, water, water). 

Second of all, I’m all fired up from this post of Jamie’s and this beautiful blog, to start tackling the clothing issue again, which is seemingly never-ending but isn’t, I decided. I have a whole bunch of ideas about identity and style and holding on to the mediocre and scarcity consciousness and guilt that I’m going to address here soon (but not right now). This weekend, I plan to do some more bagging and purging.

Two days in the work (& I'm gonna make it home tonight)

On Friday night, we went to the fair with my brother, sister in law and nieces. The girls rode in the car with us and they were so sweet and funny, showing us their new tattoos and telling us stories about people who keep tiny ponies as pets.

The fair is a challenging place for me, but I tried to hold on to how the girls experienced it. Always, they impress me with their zest for life, their bravery, their intense emotions, their love, the golden light that radiates from them, their complete lack of judgement. They see the world as glorious -- the way it really is.

Grey Gardens

It's impossible for me to explain what Grey Gardens means to me or how I feel about the Beales. Clearly, I am not alone in this, but I do wish I could somehow put words around how important this work and these women are to me. Searching around the internet, I found someone who asserted that the Grey Gardens documentary is the best film ever produced in the history of film. I'm inclined to agree with that.

Oh. Yes.

In the groove

Now, the making of a good compilation tape is a very subtle art. Many do's and don'ts. First of all you're using someone else's poetry to express how you feel. This is a delicate thing.--Rob

Yesterday, I watched the movie High Fidelity. This is not a post, however, about John Cusack or how I have decided that he is my generation's actor or how one day I plan to write a screenplay for a film in which he will star, which will lead to us meeting at least once for coffee. (Don't worry, Tracy is fine with this, he will be off somewhere having coffee with Chrissie Hynde.) This is not, I promise, a post about how when I'm tired and it's rainy and all of my plans fall through and I don't feel like doing anything I just go get my stack of John Cusack DVDs, which are kept together in their own special section, and decide if it's a Say Anything or Being John Malkcovich or Grosse Pointe Blank or High Fidelity sort of day.