the dream life

to surround you

A few nights ago, my niece asked me, "What does 'surround' mean?"

I explained it to her as best I could and she said, "So a hug is surround you?"

"Yes," I said, "a hug is surround you."

I've been thinking about how true that is, how a hug really is about surrounding. I told Emme that when something surrounds you, it is all around you and her mind immediately went to that feeling, of being inside the circle of someone else's arms.

On Saturday, I shared a particularly moving reading with a client. The whole room was like an opening lotus and we were in the middle, we were surrounded by it. Love. Afterwards, we hugged like old friends even though we'd technically not met before that moment. 

What we do with our bodies.

What we do with our hearts.

It's the language that matters most.

What we say to one another with our chests pressed, the energy exchanged.

It's the language that matters most.

No room for defense; no room for anger; no room for fear; no room for jealousy; no room for judgement; room for release; room for understanding; room for quiet; room to hear the pulse of life. The oneness. The truth.

In one another's arms we take off the masks and breathe.

This is to surround you.

This is all there is.

kiss & touch

Last night, Tracy and I went to a Kiss show. Kiss is one of those bands for Tracy. He saw them when he was a kid and has seen them several times since. He's always wanted to share the Kiss experience with me. 

We had fun. (Earplugged) loud, crazy, fire show, guys in platform shoes flying over the crowd sort of fun. I confess to being a pretty big fan of Gene Simmons Family Jewels, and that enhanced my enjoyment of the show, which is a show to be sure.

And we had a good time driving home. There are passionate, important conversations to be had on the interstate in the middle of the night. We got home late, still talking, embracing one another's company, and as I drifted into sleep near 3 a.m., I acknowledged my gratitude for this relationship. It's sort of the key to everything - how I ended up here, how we ended up together, and how we keep it alive, which isn't about keeping at all, but allowing and loving in an active and present way. Cycles and choosing.

Reflection

(We name things in this house.) 

Right now I'm sitting in the studio (we also call it the healing room) in the dragonfly chair. Karma is perched on the arm of the chair, purring. Gentle meditative music is playing. Om Shanti. On the table next to us, the Himalayan salt lamp is burning.

Downstairs, nag champa is lit by the door and the aroma wafts its way up the stairs to us.

There are fairies and mermaids in the window, the January sun shining through.

I have released plans today. I'm floating in yes, doing and not doing in accordance with my impulse.

Mercury can do its thing; my heart is full of love

Wow.

Mercury Retrograde. My knowledge of astrological goings on is fairly limited, but I do get this. 

This time around, I'm noticing it in my dealings with technology and machinery. The battery in my car died, links to things that look like they should work, don't. An old amalgamated draft post published itself to my blog today with a very strange nonsensical time stamp, my phone is indulging in strangeness, weird and wrong words are showing up in my sentences.

I also learned, however, that it's not all bad. 

Other really, really good things I've discovered during the past few days - (like the Mercury Retrograde thing, because people I love have told me about them) Moby's Wait for Me, Radiolab, Wisdom of Avalon Cards as an iPhone app and Norwegian Wood.

Right now, Meryl Streep is dressed in glittery flared legged pants asking me if I want another (Abba song) one. I do. I want another one.

Despite miscommunications and mechanical failures, it was a good, good day. The outpouring of love in the comments on my last post -- wow -- and people keep saying these things to me, these important sign-post life path type things. Big glowing neon type things.

I know the best people. Just the best people ever. (Yes, I'm looking at you.)

Thank you.

Unplugged

Recently, Tracy and I watched an episode of South Park, the premise of which was the Internet going down. No one could get any Internet for online dating, shopping, chatting or surfing and they pretty much went crazy. Everyone loaded up and headed out west to Internet refugee camps where they lived in tents and lined up for their forty seconds of rationed Internet a day. Oh, it was funny, but it was funny in that way that hits really close to home because even though you know something is absurd, you can also relate to it.

And then, last night, our modem died. And that wasn’t very funny. Tracy called our Internet provider and they said they would send us a new modem in a couple of days and he said, “Dude, we’re already at Best Buy, can’t we just buy a new modem?” and they said, “Yeah, you can, but we won’t support it.” and he said, “But it will work, right?” and they said, “Yeah, it will work, but we won’t support it,” and he said, “Fine.” And we went in to get our Internet back.

But on the modem shelf there was only one and it was for “exclusive use with AT&T and Yahoo.” I was ready to give up at this point and drifted off to watch Entertainment Tonight on the plasma TVs, but Tracy wouldn’t give up. He was convinced there had to be a high speed DSL modem somewhere in the store that was compatible with any Internet provider. Sure enough, in a few minutes I heard the sound of In Your Eyes being sung across the appliance aisle.

Our new modem claimed to be easy as pie to set up and sure enough, the directions were super simple. I plugged everything up and presto…no Internet. Tracy worked with it and made phone calls and worked with it and made phone calls for hours, but nothing could be done. There would be no blogging, no checking of e-mails, no tweets, no facebook.

This morning as I left for work, he was still struggling, which is truly mad, deep, love because Tracy doesn’t really care all that much about the Internet. He knows I’m a junkie and he’s trying to get me well.

It looks like we’ll have to return the modem we bought and wait for one from our provider and then struggle with getting that set-up, so my Interneting will be of the rationed variety for a while. When I’m back to my regular schedule, I’ll tell you all about the books I read and the stuff I got done while unplugged.