the dream life

new moon

There is a moment within the equation of intention + asking + trust + joy, when you feel the corner of arrival. You taste it on the edge of your lips. The world that you have dreamed, that you have carried wrapped in silk over your breast, that you have danced against your hips, this dream is moving into the material.

A graceful rich caravan, it shimmers on the horizon. Its incense swirls at your ankles and the fragrance, heady and layered, rises across your face.

Anticipation and gratitude flutter in your blood, dance through the rooms of your heart.

You can hear the thump, thump, thump - the rhythm of universal love - you can feel it rising.

There is a moment as sweet as moonlit honey. It tingles just below the skin.

It's coming.

If you reach gently out into the night, you can graze it softly with your fingertips.

Savor it.

It's here.

for the August Break

Building dreams

I'm gathering words and images for my annual dream board and I can feel the excitement building and rolling. This is the thing about dream boards -- more important than the images or words -- the way they feel. My dreams for 2010 are tingling on my skin, and pulling together the supplies for this board is an act of pure joy.

This year is particularly thrilling because of the blue moon on New Year's Eve. It's going to be a powerful time for birthing dreams into the world, and before I build my dream board and set it forth to work its magic, I'll construct some sort of releasing ritual. This is my favorite part of welcoming a new year -- saying good by to the old one and to everything old that I no longer need. It's like cleaning out the junk drawers in my soul, emptying away all the sticky stuff  to make room for the shiny and new.

There's a paperweight on the mantel over my desk. It says, WHAT WOULD YOU ATTEMPT TO DO IF YOU KNEW YOU COULD NOT FAIL?

That's my song for the new year, that's the question I'm waking with every morning. Now is the time to live. Wherever you are, whatever the circumstances. The time is now.

This little light of mine

I thought of last year’s word, Release, fairly quickly. This year, my word didn’t jump out at me, so I took my time to sift around in words; there were several that felt like contenders for 2009 and some that sounded good at first but then created discord within me after I sat with them for a while.I knew that my word would have to be a companion to Release, my word for 2008, because I wasn’t finished releasing.

Release 2008

This month, Christine Kane’s blog has featured voices from the word of the year project. At Christine’s urging, last January, many of us chose a word to carry with us into the new year instead of making resolutions.

The word I chose for 2008 was Release. I didn’t spend a great deal of time wondering about what I wanted my word to be. Release spoke to me; it felt right. Release resonated on both a physical and spiritual level.

For one thing, I planned to continue with my ongoing effort to clear our home of clutter. The idea was that I would engage in a process of examination and letting go of every object, item of clothing, scrap of paper that no longer served the purpose of love and joy in our home, or that no longer reflected who we are.

I also wanted to apply this concept to my own person – outdated thoughts, unneeded extra weight, old habits that no longer served me. I envisioned kicking all of this to the curb and emerging into 2009 unencumbered, lighter and free.

This weekend

I've gotten into a habit of saying about my weekends, I did nothing, I did nothing. It's because each Friday I have this wonderful fantasy that loops through my mind about all of the things I'm going to do and how much energy I'm going to have and how, on Sunday night, the house and yard will be glistening and ordered and all of the clothes will be clean and put away and the refrigerator will be stocked with food for the coming week and I will have spent hours writing and making things and on and on.

When Sunday night comes and I haven't accomplished these things, I feel that I've let myself down, that I've failed in some way. Tonight I decided to remind myself that while I may not be a wondrous cyclone of achievement, I do do things with my weekends. So, a run-down.

On Friday night, Tracy's niece was in town and we took her to eat Indian food at Masala. Yesterday morning, Tracy decided the cough that I'd given him warranted going to the doctor, so he did that while I straightened the house and did a load of dishes. Later, I went to Whole Foods and got stuff to make soup and an aromatherapy diffuser for the love altar in the bedroom.

Last night, I had dinner with my parents and grandmother. After we ate, we looked through a photo album and I brought it home so that I could scan the pictures, pictures like this one of my parents taken shortly after their fourth wedding anniversary 

 

and this one of me and my brother taken at my grandparents' house. 

 

I remember wearing that dress. I loved that dress. That's a book under my arm, but it looks strikingly like my beloved MacBook.

On Friday, I decided that I would rededicate myself to the 100 Day Reality Challenge and begin a new season on October 1 (with daily videos). In preparation for that, I spent this morning creating a manifesting movie for my intentions. What I mean is that I chose inspirational photos and wrote affirmations and put them together with music that makes me feel empowered and created a little movie to watch every morning and evening. Even though my Friday afternoon mind loop is not a good example, one thing I know for sure is that visualization works, and I'm excited about my new creation and the changes it will bring about.

I thought about cleaning but instead I prepared a birthday present to be mailed this week, which including burning a super groovy CD, then went on a walk where I encountered the most gigantic raven I've ever seen. I took the raven as a beautiful, powerful sign of transformation.

This afternoon, I found Woody and Tracy on the couch and the three of us watched Annie Hall

 

and I uploaded drafts of the first four chapters of my novel for my writers group.

Now, we're watching Emmys red carpet coverage and I've already spotted Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, my very most favorite Hollywood couple ever.

There's organic chocolate chip cookie dough in the freezer, and I just might bake some Sunday night award show cookies.

See, self? Not nothing. Not nothing at all. 

Sacred life: a dream board for a new year

As the dawn of a new year approaches, more than ever before I feel the need to take stock, to release what I no longer need and look toward my intentions for the future.
Often, I fall into the quagmire of thinking that I am stuck, that my life is spinning in a circle without moving forward. Many times on New Year's Eve, I've sat sullen and heartbroken, believing that little by little, my life is slipping away without me.
Today, I am looking back over the past year, thinking about where I was on New Year's Day 2007 and where I am now. My world expanded in 2007, things happened. Cogs began to squeak and turn. Old rusty thoughts began to move.
When I made my dream board last year, I chocked it full of stuff - most of it big, sweeping changes. Looking over it now, I realize that much of what I directed attention to there did start to come in to being. Things shifted.
This year, as I collect images for my board, I'm thinking in a slightly different way. I'm thinking of more immediate goals. I'm not leaving anything out. Nothing is too earthly, nothing is too small. I'm being as specific as I know how to be.
A recent Woman's World magazine featured a numerology article with instructions for determining your personal year number for 2008.

My personal year number is 9 and, according to Women's World, 2008 means the end of a nine year cycle for me. In 2008, I will see goals through to completion and make room for good things ahead. I'll "get rid of any physical or emotional clutter that could be holding me back."
Well. All right then.
De-cluttering is definitely on my list-both in my physical world and body, and in my mind and heart and spiritual body. I'm looking toward a stream-lined 2008.
As I found words and images for my new dream board today, I tapped in to waves of excitement and clarity. I know the board works now, and I have a better sense of how it works.

A day like this

I was feeling down about the end of my vacation and how I spent my time and did not spend my time, but I experienced a change of heart this morning, or a change of thought. I turned it around is what I did.
We drove out to Boyd Orchards for pumpkins and mums.

It was a beautiful drive and we found what we came for.

I was also very taken with the Halloween displays

and brought home a couple of things including paper witch hats for my little black Halloween tree.

On the way home, we stopped at the store for food, saw a friend from high school, found a giant Tootsie Roll for Woody.

This afternoon, I made a chart for the 100 Day Co-Creating Our Reality Challenge with icons to represent the practices I’m putting into place.

Now, we’re watching The Birds. I love the part where Tippi Hedren and Suzanne Pleshette are sitting around smoking and talking about Mitch. It’s so stylish and beautiful. Oh sure, there’s that little problem with the birds later, but I'm in it for the manicures and heels and perfect hair.
I just finished a mug of dragonwell green tea, the boy is cozied up with his paws tucked in.
There's nothing wrong with a day like this.

Day Two video here.

A Buddhist with a glue stick

“That which is like unto itself is drawn.” -the teachings of Abraham

“Everything is valid and everything is truthful, because Law of Attraction lets everything be. The question is not whether it's right or wrong, whether their approach is right or wrong, or whether my approach is right or wrong. The question is: Does their approach feel good to me? And if it doesn't, then I choose a different approach.” - Abraham

“There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.” -the Buddha

“What makes you happier: To deal with what you want and to increase it, or to deal with what you do not want and to fight against it?” -Barbel Mohr

I’ve been meaning to write this post for the longest time. I’ve been meaning to get down my thoughts and feelings and experiences surrounding the law of attraction and the power of manifesting. I allude to these things, but I’ve wanted to go a little deeper and explain where I am with these concepts.
Finally, I think I’m ready to explore this here, with you, and let these disjointed thoughts spill all around and fill up this white space. It’s not going to be coherent, but maybe you can sift around in these things and see a glimmer of where my thinking has taken me.
Several years ago, I read a book by Barbel Mohr called The Cosmic Ordering Service. In it, the basic idea of manifesting was outlined and I paid attention and even tried to put those concepts to work in my life, but there was something about the whole idea that was missing for me, something I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around.
About a year ago, my friend Mandy suggested I read Ask and it is Given. That was the first I’d heard about Abraham-Hicks and I happily and devoured the book with gusto. It rang in me like a bell, even when I didn’t understand it. Even when it scared me.
As someone who has often felt paralyzed by fear (fear and worry and sugar being the three main ways my family expresses love), Ask was both eye opening and frightening for me. As I started to read about the law of attraction, I started to fear that my obsessive negative thoughts were going to manifest bad things and that I wouldn’t be able to stop them.
Then, I realized, I’d been alive for a number of years thinking the sorts of thoughts I think. There had to be forgiveness in there somewhere. Change is sometimes a slow process. What I needed to do, I realized, was focus on shifting my thoughts, not worry about whether or not the thoughts were shifting.
I was also discovering Doreen’s teachings, so I leaned on the angels for support. When my thinking got too muddled, I asked the angels to help me cut cords, to take from me my negative thoughts, my worries, the results of my worries. My prayers often sounded (and still do sound) like this, Take this please; undo what I’ve done here, please; help! And the help came and continues to come.
Ask and it is Given illuminated for me a set of spiritual concepts that have been around forever. I’d read about them in Shakti Gawain’s work and Wayne Dyer’s. There was something about the Abraham-Hicks material, however, that got things to click for me.
I’d read the Seth books in high school, and have always had an interest in Edgar Cayce, so the concept of channeled material wasn’t a challenge for me, although I understand why some people are put off by it.
The truth is, I don’ t really care if Esther Hicks is channeling Abraham or making the whole thing up. If it works, it works. Now, mind you, I believe that she is channeling Abraham, I’m just saying that the question of authenticity doesn’t matter to me.
As I read, I could clearly see instances in my life when my thoughts and intentions had directed the flow of energy and as I began to work with angels, I experienced true and undeniable guidance and assistance. This was all great, but not without problems.
When dealing with my own mind and body and experiences, I could accept the suggestion that physical ailments and challenges were drawn to me through my thinking, but I had a problem applying that concept to the larger world.
I don’t think starving children are starving because of their thoughts, for instance. I don’t think abused children have attracted the abuse.
I was tripped up by this concept of “fault.” We’re a blame-based society in a lot of ways and I think as I explored the law of attraction, I went off track down this blame road that has nothing to do with the actual teachings.
I also wondered where the law of attraction left me as a fiction writer. I wondered what it would mean for me to spend entire days examining and reliving past pains and failures. Would I inadvertently draw those experiences to me again?
I tossed these things around in my head. Then, last Christmas, I watched The Secret with Mandy and Tracy. Mandy and I were disappointed as we thought Esther Hicks was going to be in it, and she wasn’t. Tracy was so disgusted by the whole thing he stomped out of the room.
The Secret had an informercial quality to it - it was slick and presented the concepts in a simplistic almost non-spiritual way that left me uneasy. I think it's great that The Secret is so popular, and I'm glad so many people have made their way to these concepts through the Secret. Personally, however, I don’t like that when I talk about the law of attraction to people who aren't already into it, they think I mean The Secret.
So, if I don’t mean that, what do I mean?
The idea that thoughts influence the body works for me because I believe that separateness is an illusion. I believe in the interconnectedness of everything and everyone. I carry around a copy of Heal Your Body and every single time I look up a physical challenge that I’m encountering, the affirmation rings true and helps me solve the problem.
I believe in the power of positive thinking because I know it works. I consistently feel my perceptions and experiences shift with my attitude and I know that (to a certain degree) I get back from the world what I put out.
But I also know that bad things happen for no good reason, that good people thinking loving thoughts doing loving things sometimes get very, very sick. I know that there are some things I can control and some things I can not.
I know that when I’m reaching for the better feelings, I often get stuck on anger.
I know that I am sometimes ill-tempered and foul-mouthed and petty. I can transform those emotions by sitting at my meditation altar, lighting a candle, and asking for help. I can, but often, I don’t.
I know that sometimes I am given beautiful, amazing, wondrous things for no reason, even though I’ve been thinking the opposite.
I believe in the law of attraction but I also believe in instant redemption, and I also believe that sometimes things just happen.
I don’t believe in randomness.
I believe in karma but I don’t believe in judgment or punishment.
I believe in signs but I don’t necessarily believe in fate.
I don’t believe, and have never believed, that there is one way or one truth that is right for everyone.
I know that it’s good to feel good.
We’re often taught that it’s good to feel bed. We’re taught it so much, in so many different ways, we start to believe it in a fundamental way. We’re scared to let go of it. Of all the things I’ve learned from the teachings of Abraham, it is the understanding of joy that I appreciate the most. It’s good and productive to be happy. Happy heals. Feel good, and good happens.
So, I struggled with all of this for a while.
I’m comfortable with contradiction, but as I worked through the Abraham-Hicks material, I wanted to understand and make sense of things.
I found, through Myss.com, an article that pulled things together for me. Unfortunately, I can’t find it now to link to it, but there were two things within it that stood out to me as important. The first was the idea that there are other universal laws, that sometimes a thing happens because of one of these other laws. The other was the concept that the law of attraction is a power that the ego can’t access if the soul isn’t willing to go along. In other words, you can’t just sit around visualizing piles of money and poof, the money appears, if you’re not doing the soul work you are here to do.
Around this same time, I read Pema Chodron’s The Places That Scare You on the suggestion of my friend Lucy, and reacquainted myself with Buddhist concepts. At first, I thought that what Chodron was describing stood in stark contrast to the law of attraction. Slowly, however, I began to realize that it did not. Slowly, ever so slowly, the wrinkles in my brain began to deepen just enough to allow a few glimpses of understanding and I saw that the core Buddhist principles are right in line with the Abraham-Hicks teachings, which, by the way, can also be found in the Bible.
I have long surrounded myself with images of the Buddha because I find them reassuring and calming and beautiful. When I used Doreen’s Ascended Masters deck, I almost always draw eastern masters. That’s where I lean, where I feel comfortable. The imagery of Buddhism is a natural fit for me. Now with Pema’s teachings (I travel with Getting Unstuck in my CD player). I am beginning to feel brief passages of true peace. Lately, when I feel tears rise, I lean into them rather than fighting them off. I sit with my sorrow and my fear rather than, well, fearing it.
I don’t think I’m going to manifest my fears by acknowledging them. I think by acknowledging them, I can let them go.
And in this way, Buddhism has helped me build my relationship with the law of attraction, which is not simple and not about judgment or victim-blaming, but is about turning toward gratitude and joy and tending the garden of my life so that the beauty that makes my heart sing grows larger and I am no longer owned by sadness or adrift in my life waiting for the good stuff to happen.
It’s about acknowledging the gift - this gift of life that contains suffering and pain but also abundance and deep, deep happiness that everyone can experience because we were born to experience it.
So, can a person like cute pajamas, believe in fairies, talk to angels, make dream boards and still be a Buddhist? Some sort of Buddhist, yes, I think.
One who practices manifesting.

It’s been almost a year since I made my dream board using Colette Baron-Reid’s instructions. I think I’m ready to add to it, to tweak it, and turn my attention to it in a way that I haven’t done with the first one, really.
I am a deeply stubborn person. It takes me a while to begin a practice of any kind. When I first made my dream board, I still had too many questions, too much resistance. Now, I’ve read enough and experienced enough - I’ve come far enough down this path to know that these principles may be widely misunderstood and misrepresented, but they hold power for me and help me both ground myself and connect to spirit.
I recently discovered this group and decided to make a new board and participate in the 100 day challenge.
I can embrace the law of attraction now, with the understanding that it is both simple and complicated. I’m excited to see what can happen in 100 days.

My Sacred Life Day 11: Dream cards

I made a dream board right after Christmas last year. These are the instructions for how to make a board from Colette Baron-Reid's website.

You’ll need a large (at least 3′ x 3′) piece of foam, cork, or strong poster board; a glue stick or thumbtacks, and scissors.
Put a border around the area where you will be putting your dream images. This tells the universe that whatever you put inside the border is what you want to create.
Put a picture of yourself in the center.
Put a spiritual symbol on the top that reminds you of spirituality. It can be anything–as long as it makes you think of spiritual energy.
Put a statement of your highest good.
“This or something better now manifests for me for the highest good in divine appropriate timing.”
Cut out photos and pictures of things you want to manifest. Accompany by affirmations.
Hang your board somewhere you see it often.
Turn it over to the universe. Affirm it as if it already happened and say thank you.

I put a lot of energy into creating it, but I haven’t put as much energy into using it. I look at it, but I haven’t spent sustained amounts of time sitting with it, holding the affirmations in my mind, feeling the truth of the board.
A few nights ago, just before sleep, I got the idea to make mini dream cards for each affirmation. The cards would be an extension of the board. I could hold them, carry them around, use them to focus my thoughts.
Today, I got started and made a few.

It was a good way to reaffirm my original intentions, refine them a bit and spend some time knowing.
Whatever you believe about manifestation, I don't think it can hurt to think about life in a positive way, think about what you want, what you invision for the future, where you think you're going, or at least the direction you're headed.
This action for me is like prayer with scissors and glue.

My Sacred Life